No Vacation from Grief: Traveling with a Heavy Heart

Summer invites us to pack our bags, get away from the daily grind, and recharge. For many, this season means road trips, hikes, family reunions, and long-awaited adventures. But if you are grieving the death of a loved one, summer travel can feel emotionally jarring. The warm weather and blue skies may be unchanged, but the internal landscape is vastly different.

Grief doesn’t take time off. It doesn’t care if you’ve booked a flight, planned a week in the mountains, or said yes to a family getaway. In fact, travel—especially to places filled with shared memories or traditions—can bring your grief front and center, whether you’re prepared for it or not.

Grief in New Places

Many people are surprised by how much grief shows up on vacation. You might expect it during holidays or anniversaries but travel itself can be its own kind of trigger.

It could be a destination you used to visit with your person—a cabin you rented every summer, or the city where they were born. Maybe it’s something small: a special place that reminds you of a favorite breakfast tradition, or the familiar feel of warm sand between your toes that suddenly makes you ache with longing.

Even going nowhere new can stir unexpected grief. Being out of your normal routine, away from the daily tasks that usually distract you, can create space for emotions to surface. And if you’re traveling with others, the contrast between their excitement and your inner sorrow can feel isolating.

Traditions Without Them

Summer is full of annual traditions: Fourth of July gatherings, camping trips, concerts in the park, family road trips. These familiar rhythms can feel like painful reminders when someone you love is no longer there to share them.

You might catch yourself instinctively saving a seat, reaching for the phone to share a photo, or suddenly remembering that this is the weekend they always grilled burgers. These moments—fleeting or overwhelming—underscore the absence and remind you again that life has changed.

There’s no right way to handle this. Some people find comfort in returning to the same places and honoring their loved one’s memory there. Others find it too painful, especially in the first few years, and prefer to create new traditions or skip the trip altogether. Both choices are valid.

When Grief Joins the Itinerary

So what do you do when grief decides to tag along on your vacation? First, acknowledge that it’s normal. It’s not a failure of healing or a sign that you “should be over it.” It’s simply grief doing what grief does: showing up in ways we don’t always expect.

Here are a few ways to navigate travel with grief in tow:

1. Build in emotional space

Grief needs time and room. Don’t overschedule your trip. Create pockets of quiet mornings alone with coffee, a solo walk on the beach, or a moment to journal before bed. Give yourself permission to not be “on” the whole time.

2. Share your needs with travel companions

If you’re traveling with others, let them know ahead of time that grief might come up. You don’t have to go into detail, but a simple, “This trip may bring up some feelings for me—I might need some space or quiet moments,” can open the door for support and reduce the pressure to pretend you’re okay.

3. Bring a ritual with you

Sometimes having a small ritual can ground you. This could be lighting a candle in memory, writing a letter to your loved one, visiting a meaningful site, or even carrying a keepsake—a photo, a piece of jewelry, or something they once gave you.

4. Give yourself an out

If a specific activity or location feels too painful, it’s okay to skip it. Just because something was always done a certain way doesn’t mean it must be done now. Grief gives you full permission to rewrite the rules.

5. Notice moments of connection

While travel can amplify grief, it can also create openings for memory, connection, and even peace. A sunset might bring tears and a sense of closeness. A familiar song might crack your heart open and help you feel them near. These dual experiences don’t cancel each other out—they coexist, and they’re both part of the healing process.

Traveling Alone in Grief

If you’re traveling solo after a loss, especially after losing a partner, there’s an added layer of vulnerability. The logistics alone can be hard, especially if your person used to handle the travel details or shared the decision-making.

You might also feel more exposed, more aware of being alone. Bring supports where you can: call a friend before dinner, text someone your hotel info for safety, or pack a grief journal to hold your reflections. Let the trip be what it is—not a test of your strength, but a companion to your grief.

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Grief doesn’t pause just because life tries to move forward. And summer travel, with all its invitations for joy and connection, can surface both sorrow and sweetness.

Wherever you go this season—physically or emotionally—may you carry your grief gently. May you make space for memory, for rest, and for moments of unexpected healing. You don’t need to leave your grief behind to enjoy your time away. You just need to bring your whole self along. As a Seattle based grief therapist, I offer support so you don’t have to face the overwhelming feelings of grief and loss on your own. To take the first step I invite you to fill out my contact form